11:51 p.m. - 2004-12-16
Tart-a-licious!
OK. So I got busy, did two complete loads of laundry (by complete, I mean that they actually made it out of the dryer, got folded, and actually put into dresser and closet), and baked 48 tarts (cherry and apple - mini and small), as well as a sheetpan of pie dough sugar/cinnamon cookies with the leftover pie dough.
Plus, I cleaned up the kitchen after. And I emptied the dishwasher.
I don't know why I'm always trying to justify my life by the tasks I accomplish... probably because I've been so unmotivated and unproductive in the last few months, overwhelmed by my emotions and my thoughts, and since I'm not working at a job out of the house that I get paid to perform - occasionally people think this automatically means I am a lady of leisure. Sure, it's nice to not have to "go to work"... but I've not gone to work for two years now and I'm feeling a little paralyzed by that, to be honest. Weird. I can be so competent in many areas, motivated in some others, and yet my personal neuroses have decided to dominate my life every day in the form of reluctance to be social, to meet people, to commit my time and my life to any kind of schedule, and the thought of any of the aforementioned factors being changed sends me into a panic.
I'm so weird. It's like I've been playing at being normal my whole life, and I've now realized that I'm borderline psychotic and crippled by my own fears.
Anyhow, I was feeling good about baking tarts so when I took a just-before-bed break to check to see if any of my usual reads has updated, and saw that I was the only one who had.. I just thought Oh heck, I'll update again. Maybe someone will be proud of me that I baked tarts tonight. :P
Listening to: Rubber Band Man by the Spinners (think: office max commercial)
